


A whole new world

by Capsiclemcu



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Natasha learns to breastfeed??, Orphanage, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Romanogers Appreciation Week 2019, Steve and Natasha adopt, Steve not knowing how women work, Steve pissing off Natasha, romanogers - Freeform, stevenat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-07-31 13:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capsiclemcu/pseuds/Capsiclemcu
Summary: Post infinity war, Natasha enlists Steve's help on her idea of creating an orphanage for all the children who lost their families after the snap. Steve has always thought highly of Natasha. She is after all, his best friend and the only one he's kept in touch with after the snap. Will opening this orphanage bring them closer together? What happens when they grow attached to one little orphan in particular?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy my stevenat fic! Follow me on twitter Maria @capsiclemcu

Steve pov   
Wakanda 2018

“Natasha?!” I called out for her after seeing my best friend fade away into dust. 

“Steve?! Over here!” She called out though the Wakandan jungle.   
I made my way to her and the rest of the group. I saw her kneeling beside a dead grey Vision. Around her was Thor, Bruce, Rhodey, and Rocket.

“What the hell is this?” Rhodey asks. 

“Oh God.” I sigh out, knowing exactly what just happened. “We lost, they’re gone.”

“What do you mean they’re gone?” Rocket asks.

“Thanos, he got all the stones. He snapped 50% of the worlds population out of existence.” 

“So they’re like gone, gone? Forever gone?” Rocket asks with pain in his voice.

“Do not worry my rodent friend, we will find a way to get them back. And we will make Thanos pay.” Thor assures Rocket. 

“Whatever it takes.” I tell them. And I mean it. I will do whatever it takes to make this right. I failed the world once and I will not fail them again. 

6 mos. later   
Bel air, Maryland 

I awoke early in the morning, not that I slept much anyway and headed to this small café on main that we meet at every now and then. It was a small family owned café in a small Maryland town. Natasha says they make her chocolate chip pancakes just the way she likes it. The old man who originally owned the café blipped along with one of his daughters. Now it’s just his granddaughter and a few random people who needed jobs after the snap.

I sat down at a little table out side the sunny day café watching the dull and empty Main Street that once upon a time was bustling with business along the shops. I ordered 2 black coffees a short stack of chocolate chip pancakes and a side of scrapple for Natasha and eggs and bacon for myself. I was staring off into the distance lost in thought when I saw her coming toward me. She took a seat just before the waitress came with our coffee. 

“Did you order yet?” She asked.

“One chocolate chip short stack with a side of scrapple should be here any minute.”

“You always know what I like.” She smiled softly. I couldn’t help but admire her smile. She doesn’t do it as often anymore and certainly not genuinely. But this smile I could tell was genuine and appreciative. It was beautiful just like the rest of her. I took time to admire her hair, she had styled it differently than when I last saw her. It was no longer short and blonde but had grown out to her beautiful natural red with blonde tips and braided to the side.

“Rogers?” She snapped me out of my daze looking at me with a slight smirk. I blushed deeply realizing I had been staring at her.   
“Sorry... I uh was just uh admiring your hair. It looks nice.” I mumbled slightly embarrassed.

“Thanks” she smiled at me again a little bigger this time. And I swear I felt my heart flutter. 

“So Rogers... I was thinking. I need some help.” She looked at me pleading with her eyes.

“What is it? Is everything okay?” I asked a little worried.

“I’m fine relax. I just need some help with an idea i had.” 

“What is it?”

“Well, I’ve been noticing a lot of children out on the streets or living in abandoned houses and I was thinking... why don’t we start an orphanage?” She touched my arm and looked at me with eyes that no one could possibly say no to. 

“And what would I be doing?” 

“I need you by my side Steve. I need you to help me clear out a place for us to stay. A big place that could fit a lot of kids.” 

“What about an abandoned hotel?” 

“That’s a great idea, does that mean you’re in?” She asks.

“I couldn’t say no to you if I tried.” She leaned over the table and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed deep red in response. 

The waitress then came with our food and sat it down in front of us. We began to devour our food. It was quiet for a while we were just eating peacefully until I asked “when did you want to start?”

“I was hoping we could start immediately. Is that okay?” She looked at me and was obviously hoping I would say yes.

“I just have to clear out of the place i’m staying but that shouldn’t take long.” 

“I’ll come with you and then we can start searching for a place.” I could tell she was excited. I was also kind of excited. I really want to help these kids. I can’t imagine the kind of trauma they’ve gone through losing both of their parents and having to fend for themselves.   
After finishing our meal, Natasha walks by me on our way to the small loft I’ve been squatting in. Gasoline is rare these days so mostly everybody walks wherever they need to go. My loft is about an hour walk from the café which is about 5 miles. It’s the middle August so it’s the hottest part of the year. 

“I was thinking, it’s August. It’s the hottest part of the year these kids are going to need water and shoes more than anything. How exactly are we going to do that?” I ask, considering we don’t have that much money and those sorts of things have doubled in price. 

“There’s a goodwill off of south tollgate where we can get used clothes and shoes. The water? We might have to steal.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. I don’t particularly like the idea of stealing but there are homeless children out there and I know it’s for the greater good. We arrive at the loft thankfully considering it’s starting to get hot and it’s not good to be out during the heat of the day.   
“Why don’t we just stay here for the day? We can head out tomorrow. Plus it’s obnoxiously hot outside and i’m exhausted and dehydrated already.” Natasha asks me.

“Alright i’m just going to pack my things now anyway and see if I can find something for us to eat for dinner.” I take a large back pack start shoving what little clothes I have into it along with a blanket and an extra pair of shoes. 

I go downstairs and raid some of the empty apartments in search of some food someone may have left behind. I find some old canned goods and manage to grab a few before hearing some shuffling in the cabinets and heading out before the rats attack me.  
I arrive back at the loft and show Natasha what I managed to find for food. “I know it’s not much but it’s all I could find.” 

“No this is good, believe me I’ve eaten worse and less than this, thank you.” She says gratefully, however her statement worries me.

“Have you not been eating enough?” I ask.

“It’s difficult to find decent food around here Steve, you know that.” 

“I’ll make sure you eat enough, I’ll find more food. I don’t need as much to keep me going. The serum made sure of that.” She smiles at me again. 

“Thank you, Steve. I know you’ll always take care of me even when I don’t ask you to.” She steps in to hug me, her hands around my neck, my arms around her waist. Such a simple thing, a hug. But her hugs ground me. They remind me of why I keep fighting. For my friends, for my family.


	2. Getting started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my stevenat fic!! Follow my twitter Maria @capsiclemcu

I woke up on the couch not remembering why I was in fact sleeping on the couch. That is until I heard a ruckus in the kitchen and remembered I let Natasha sleep in my bed last night. I sat up to see what the noise was about when I heard Natasha let out a string of curse words. 

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Shit. Shit." Is all I heard out of her mouth as she reached above her head into the cabinet that held the glasses. As she reached I noticed that she wasn't wearing her catsuit however a large T-shirt that looked all too familiar. I quickly swooped in behind her and grabbed a glass off the top shelf. She turned around, surprised to see me.

"Rogers! Did I wake you? Sorry about all the noise." She apologized.

"Yeah but it's fine, it seems you needed my help anyway." She took the glass and looked down, blushing ever so slightly when she realized our closeness considering the lack of clothing between us. She was only wearing one of my shirts that came down to her mid-thigh, and I was wearing only a shirt and boxers. 

"Is that my shirt?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and giving her a questioning look.

"I hope you don't mind, I didn't feel like sleeping in my catsuit and I didn't have anything else with me. I found this shirt lying around so I put it on. Plus, it smells like you so it helped me sleep."

"And what do I smell like?" I ask. 

"Well usually you smell like nature. Like how it smells on a sweltering summer day in the bayou. But lately, you've been using too much of that middle school boys locker room cologne and you smell like... well, a middle school boy." I let out a chuckle.

"You mean the Axe body spray? Damn I thought I smelled good. Okay then, how about you take me shopping for a new scent. Considering you helped me with my 21st century fashion, you can help me with my 21st century scent." 

"You got yourself a deal. Now let's go save some orphaned children." She said. I assume that was my cue to move but I couldn't. I was too busy admiring the way she looks with her morning bed head, her curls tossed every which way but one curl hanging in front of her left eye. My eyes traveled to her lips, wondering what they felt like. 

"Ahem" she clears her throat. "Steve." She whispered breathily.

"Hmm?"

"We should get going" she whispered still but hadn't moved.

"Right." I said but not moving for another few seconds, enjoying the last few seconds of closeness. 

"I'm going to change and then we can head out." She walked into the bedroom to get dressed but left the door cracked ever so slightly. I couldn't help but sneak a glimpse of her peeling off my t-shirt admiring the curve of her back. I reluctantly looked away so it didn't seem like I was spying. I picked up my stealth suit and slid it on. 

"Natasha? I'm ready to go, if we don't go now we'll never find a place before the heat of the day." 

"Hang on a sec, can you come here? I need some help." She called for me. I opened the door to my room and Natasha was struggling with the zipper of her catsuit. 

"Can you help zip me up? I think it's stuck." She kept tugging on the zipper as if it would magically start working. I took the zipper and tried tugging it myself but it wouldn't budge. 

"It's stuck in the fabric but I can get it, hold on." I pried the zipper from the piece of the suit it was stuck in. Natasha inhaled sharply as my fingers brushed against the small of her back pulling the zipper up the back of her suit.

"Let's get going." She walks away and heads towed the door to leave the loft. 

"You coming old man?" She smirks at me. 

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me old man before you listen?" I grab my bag and follow her out the door. 

"When you stop being old. So... never." She teased. We started walking down the street looking for abandoned buildings, possibly a hotel. 

"We need to look for a building with no lights on that doesn't look as kept up as a building that's in use would." She describes. 

We keep walking, heading further into town where there's more buildings. There are a few old strip malls that only consist of a few open stores and some restaurants. We check out an empty department store, it's large enough but there's no kitchen and not enough bathrooms. We keep searching until we decide to check out an old office building. It has 4 levels, cubicles, bathrooms and what used too be a small restaurant in the bottom. 

"I think this is the place, don't you?" I ask Natasha.

"I don't think we're going to find anything better so, yeah I think this is the place." We stand in the middle of a large room filled with cubicles just thinking and observing. 

"We'll gather supplies first, lots of blankets, maybe some sleeping bags, each kid can sleep under their own desk and have their own cubicle." I point out. 

We start to pick up the place a little bit. There are files and papers scattered across the floor. We decide to throw them in bins and stack them in a closet on the far side of the room. We check out the bathrooms, there are multiple stalls and much to my surprise still have running water.  
"I'm going to check out the kitchen, you check out the other levels and try to disable the locks on the doors." I instruct her, heading to the staircase. She goes up and I go down to the bottom level where the restaurant/kitchen used to be. It's not much but it'll do. The electricity is still on which means the stove still works, we just need food to cook on it.

I go back upstairs to find Natasha breaking door handles. "What are you doing?" I ask her.

"You said disarm the locks so I just broke them." She says like it's obvious. 

"Let's try not to destroy the building okay? Now I think we're almost ready to start bringing kids in. We just need to scrounge up some food to store up and then we can start finding kids." 

"Alright, let's find an apartment building and split up. We'll each search separate apartments until we gather as much food we can carry." She says and I agree. We leave the office building/soon to be orphanage and set out in search of an apartment complex. It doesn't take long to find one since they're everywhere. 

The front door is open and we start with the apartments on the bottom floor. I turn the door knob to the first apartment and find it unlocked. I push it open and look for the kitchen. I open the cupboard which is mostly empty except for some canned vegetables and tomato soup. I grab the cans and shove them into a bag I found. I do the same in the next apartment and a few apartments after that, skipping over some that are locked or look occupied. I meet Natasha outside the building and we go over what we got. 

"This looks good, it should last us a little while depending on how many kids we can get." She observes the large amount of canned foods consisting of mostly vegetables, some soup, and some condensed milk.

"Let's take these back to the building along with some of the blankets and bedding we found and store the food in the kitchen and then we can start looking for kids in the morning." I concluded as we head back to the building, excited for what tomorrow may bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed, don’t forget to leave a comment and kudos :))


	3. Sarah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my stevenat fic!! Follow my twitter Maria @Capsiclemcu

We got up and dressed in the morning and headed out the door into town to seek out some children we might be able to help. It should be fairly easy considering so many kids lost their parents from the snap. I just hope we can continue to provide for these kids the way they need. 

“Where do you think we should start?” Natasha asks me as we’re walking. 

“As we get closer into town we should check empty houses, places that look like there might be squatters. Once we get into the center of town we’ll encounter more on the street and we can ask around.” I tell her.

A few more miles down the road we see a house that looks abandoned, but might be occupied. I jiggled the front door knob and it was unlocked. I opened the door and stepped inside, Natasha stepping in behind me. We stepped quietly in case whoever might be here wasn’t friendly. We entered a room in the back side of the house but still hadn’t found anyone. 

“What are you doing here!” We heard from behind us. There was a man pointing a gun at us. 

“Woah, hey we’re just looking to help, please. Put the gun down, we don’t mean any harm.” Natasha tells the man who seemed to be in his 40’s but hadn’t been taking care of himself. His hair was messy and he was growing a beard. His clothes were dirty and you could tell he hadn’t showered in a week or two.

“What do you want then.” He said still pointing his gun at us. 

“We are looking for kids who might need help, orphans and homeless kids. Kids that have nowhere to go and no food to eat.” I explain to him and he lowers his gun. 

“There’s a house a few blocks down I seen some kids come in and out of but no adults. You can start there.” The man tells us. We thank him and exit the house and make right on East Macphail and come to a small yellow house about 4 blocks down on the other side of the road. 

“Let me talk this time, you can be... intimidating with your height and muscles.” Natasha explains to me. I give her a slightly offended look but let her do her thing anyway and she   
knocks on the door.

*knock, knock* 

“Hello? Is anyone there? My name is Natasha. I heard there were a few kids living here and I was wondering if I could help? I’m not with social services or anything but I did bring my friend Steve. We’re looking around for kids who may have lost their parents and need some help.” Natasha explains in a calm smooth tone. We hear a rustle in the house. There are foot steps that seem to be coming closer and then stop. The door knob twists and the door opens slightly to reveal a young blonde girl. 

“How can you help us?” She asks.

“We found a nice office building to stay in, we gathered blankets and food and supplies. You’ll no longer have to worry about fending for yourself we’re here for you.” Natasha convinces the girl. 

“I have two other sisters, can you help all of us?” The girl asks.

“Of course. And we hope to help many more” I add in response. 

“My name is Anna i’m 14. My sister Emily is 10 and my sister Lucy is 7.” She opens the door wider to reveal two other blonde haired girls. 

“Is there anything you girls want to take with you?” Natasha vends down to ask them. They nod their heads.

“Why don’t you pack a bag of what you want to bring and meet us back out here. Okay?” The girls seemed reluctant but after a few whispers in their ears from their big sister they run off presumably to pack a bag. 

“Anna, we need your help finding more kids like you who need help. Can you help us find more today before we head back to the building we’ll be staying in?” Natasha asks Anna gently. She agrees and we the girls reappear with bags in hand. The littlest one, Lucy rolling a pink Barbie suitcase behind her and a stuffed bunny in the other hand.

The girls followed us down the road into town. There are homeless out on the streets with cardboard signs in front of them. We manage to convince a few young kids to join us. We had a total of 7 kids so far. 4 girls and 3 boys. The youngest being 5 and the oldest 14. We were getting ready to head back and set up the kids in the office building when something caught my attention. 

“Excuse me, excuse me sir, ma’am? I heard you were helping children? Is this true?” A small frail woman approached us while holding a small baby in her arms. 

“Yes it’s true, we’re opening an orphanage to help all kids who’ve been abandoned since the snap.” Natasha responds to the woman.

“Please help me. I’m sick and weak and I can’t provide for my baby anymore. We both almost died during birth. I won’t be here much longer and I don’t want her to suffer the same fate. I just need to know she’ll be safe. Please take her. Please help her.” The woman begged. She was clearly torn up about this but she was right when she said she was sick. Her eyes were sunken and tired looking. The baby also looked small and skinny. I gave Natasha a concerned look. I wasn’t sure what to do. And from the look on her face she didn’t either. 

“Steve, can we talk alone for a minute?” Natasha pulled me to the side.

“There’s no way we can do this. It’s a BABY.” She emphasizes.

“We came out here to find kids who need help. This kid needs help. What are we supposed to say? No thank you? Take your dying kid elsewhere?” I try to reason with her.

“I don’t know how to take care of a baby, Steve.” She says seriously.

“It’s a baby, how hard can it be? We’ll do it together Nat. I’ll help you. We can do this. She needs us. We can’t let her die.” I try to convince Natasha. She lets out a sigh.

“Okay, fine. But you’re helping me Rogers. I am not getting up at the butt crack of dawn to change a dirty diaper.” She stared me down with a look that I know means business. We go back over to the mother who is now rocking the child in her arms and stroking her face. 

“Okay, we’ll do it. We’ll take the child.” I tell her. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes but the most grateful look on her face and hands me the baby wrapped in blanket so the sun doesn’t touch her. 

“Goodbye my sweet Sarah.” The woman says and kisses her child on the head before turning around and walking in the other direction.

I look down at the down at the child in my arms and she cries, already missing her mother. 

“Natasha, you take the kids back to the shelter. I’m going to take Sarah and get some baby stuff we might need.” I told her, talking over the crying baby. She nods and heads off with the other children toward the shelter.

“Well Sarah, I guess it’s just me and you.” I tell her as if she can understand me. I walk down the street until I come to a second hand store. I walk inside and there’s only one person at the front desk who looks up at me as soon as she heard the crying baby enter the shop.

“Excuse me ma’am? Would you happen to know what sort of things a person might need to take care of an infant?” I asked her with desperation. She led me to an aisle that had all sorts of baby type things. 

“This is a pacifier, use it to help soothe them when they cry. You can take one out of the pack now if you’d like.” I did as she said and put the pacifier in her mouth and made sshh noises until she stopped crying and sucked on the binky. The store owner picked up bottles, formula, diapers, wipes and put them in a basket for me.”

“Is it a girl or a boy?” She asked.

“It’s a girl.” I said and she immediately went to the section that had all the pink baby clothes. She handed me about 5 tiny onesies and told me I should be set for a while, but to come back when I run out of diapers and she would give me a discount. I’m not sure what she thought but   
i’m sure she felt bad for me and that’s why. I checked out and I was surprised to see how much all this baby stuff cost. It’s a good thing I have a decent amount in my savings.

Sarah and I set off toward the shelter where Natasha was most likely getting the older kids settled in and something to eat. I could already tell this was going to be one long interesting journey. I looked down at Sarah and she was asleep in one arm as the other arm carried the bags of supplies probably cutting off my circulation.

I stopped and lay a gentle kiss on the top of her head. I barely know her but I know she’s already starting to grow on me. 

“Sarah. That was my mother’s name did you know that? I suppose it was meant to be then. I know i’m not your mom, but i’m going to try my best and so is Natasha. Just have a little faith in us. I think Natasha is really going to love you. She’s smart and beautiful just like i’m sure you will be and I know deep down she’s always wanted this so what do you say? Can you meet us half way?” I asked Sarah, who was obviously not going to respond but I felt the need to talk to her anyway as we continued down the road to our new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Don’t forget to leave a comment and kudos. Next chapter (4) will be uploaded hopefully this week but I’ve been typing these on my phone and it’s so annoying but i’m getting my computer fixed this week and then I can start 4. I promise it’s coming, bare with me. 
> 
> In 4 we’all get to see domestic! Stevenat with Sarah but also the hilarity of a spy and a soldier trying to take care of a baby.


	4. New parents

Natasha POV

I walked down the streets of the town of Bel Air with 7 kids in tow on our way to what would become their new home. I was worrying about Steve, we both made the decision to take in this baby but i'm still very nervous. What the hell does a former Russian spy turned S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent know about raising a baby? Part of me is scared because to do this because i'm afraid i'll mess up a baby. 

We arrive at the office building and I instruct the children where they can put their things and how the living arrangements are going to work. 

"Anna, you can take cubicle number 1, Emily and Lucy take cubicle number 2. You'll all be right next to each other. You can each have one blanket for now. We'll wait for Steve to get back before we talk about food. If you have any problems or questions, feel free to ask." I handed them their blankets and showed them to their cubicles.

"Caiti and Jesse, you two can take cubicle 3. Here are your blankets. Logan, you take cubicle 4. Here's your blanket, all of you get situated. I'll be in the office over to the right behind the 1st door. If you need anything, just knock on the door and i'll come out." I told the kids and headed back to my room to get some rest and wait for Steve.

I sat in the office alone and drifted into a light sleep. Next thing i knew, it was Steve and I and a small strawberry blonde headed child running around the backyard in the green grass of our suburb home outside New York. We were happy and laughing, Steve called out to the child, Sarah, and she ran to him giddily and he lifted her up in the air and spun her around like an airplane. Sarah called out for her momma and i went to her, recognizing that the title belonged to myself. I laughed at the two of them and their playfulness. We hugged Sarah tight between us and I lifted my diamond clad hand to his cheek and pulled him in for a loving kiss. 

I was awoken by the sound of Steve knocking and entering quietly with a sleeping child in his arms and about 4 shopping bags hanging from them. I stood up to greet them and looked Sarah happily suckling on a pacifier as she slept. I gave Steve this look that basically asked how things went. 

"You have no idea. She would not stop screaming her head off. The woman who owns the store looked at me like i was crazy. Thankfully she helped me pick out all the stuff we need and got Sarah to quiet down by giving her this binky." He said quietly but noticeably frustrated. I noticed how cute i thought his frustration with child was and how sweet they looked, her cradled in his arms. My dream was a fantasy but maybe fantasies aren't so hard to achieve if you try hard enough. 

"What are you smiling about?" Steve asks.

"Nothing, just admiring how adorable you two look." I look at Steve and he blushes red as a tomato. 

"Do you want to hold her?" He asks and i nod warily.

"You'll be fine, i'll show you, here." He lifts the tiny baby and puts her in my arms, moving my hand so it supported her hand. He kept his hand there, over mine and we just watched Sarah continue to sleep amazed at how beautiful she is. I felt a tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach, almost like butterflies. I wonder if he felt it too...

"Isn't she beautiful? I never thought babies could be beautiful but she is." I look up and ask him. 

"She sure is." He looks down at me and my eyes flutter to his lips for a split second. He must have noticed because he's leaning closer so I lean in further and his soft, supple lips join mine in a delicate kiss. His lips are smooth and plump with a hint of scratchiness that comes from his beard. We don't stop, in fact Steve gently pulls me closer keeping in mind the child resting in my arms and continues by licking my bottom lip. I let his tongue enter my mouth and sweetly entangle his tongue with mine. It was slow and gentle, loving but fierce. I couldn't get enough and it was dangerous. His kiss made me feel like I was a delicate flower he wanted to admire but not break. I was almost positive i was floating when i came back to reality and realized we should stop since we can't go any further. I pulled away and rested my forehead on his and taking in his scent and his hot breath still on me. 

"Wow, I didn't know you could kiss like that Rogers." I said quietly.

"I've been wanting to do that for a pretty long time." He admits sheepishly.

"Well, did it live up to your expectations?." I smirked

"Even better." He smiled.

"I'm going to go check on the others, see how they're settling in. You stay here with Sarah until she wakes up." He tells me and walks out the door. Now that I was alone, i had some time to think about things. I kissed Steve. I liked kissing Steve. Did I like Steve? That's what I needed to figure out. He's a great guy. He's a perfect gentleman, he's the only guy who's ever treated me with respect, like i'm more than an attractive woman. I've never done the whole dating thing though. I don't "date" guys. I've never been able to. The red room instilled it in me that everyone I love would most likely die because of me, if someone would ever even want me. I've come a long way since then, I love the Avengers, they are my family. But I still have never been in a healthy relationship, which is what Steve deserves. 

I was brought out of my thoughts by a screaming Sarah who had just woken up. "Sssshhhh Sarah it's okay, you're okay." I tried to calm her in a soothing voice bouncing her up and down, but she still cried so I went to get Steve.

"Steve?" I called out. He was kneeling next to a little boy who seemed to be telling Steve a story. It was pretty cute I have to admit. Steve noticed me standing there with a crying Sarah in my arms. 

"What's up? Is she okay?" He asked slightly worried.

"I don't know, she woke up and just started crying." I explained still bouncing Sarah in hope she would start to calm down. She just kept hitting my chest.

"Natasha... I think she wants to breast feed." Steve told me. I looked at him like he was out of his mind.

"Well I don't breast feed, what am I supposed to do??" I ask.

"The lady at the store gave me this thing, i'm not exactly sure how it works but it's supposed to feed the baby formula and it attaches to your breast so the baby can still breast feed. She said adoptive parents use this all the time." He told me.

"Steve, we aren't her parents. I don't breast feed. I don't even know this baby and i'm supposed to let her suck on my tits? let's just try bottle feeding her." I concluded. Tons of babies bottle feed. Sarah won't be any different. 

Steve and I walk back to the room to grab the baby supplies. "I'll go to kitchen and figure out how to heat up this formula. You can come with me or you can stay here." He said. I nodded and followed him out of the office we slept in and headed downstairs to the kitchen after telling the rest of the kids we were going to make food for the baby. 

Steve read the directions on the back. "Pour desired amount of luke warm water into bottle, okay it doesn't say how much. How am i supposed to know how much??" He says frustratingly. "You know what, let me call Bucky. He and Sam took in a baby a couple months ago." He dials Bucky's number on his sat phone and it rings four times before Bucky picks up.

"Hello? Steve?" Bucky asks.

"Yeah hey, listen I know we haven't spoken in weeks but I really need some help." Steve says with a slight panic in his voice. Sarah is still crying, although not as violently as before. 

"Is that a baby in the background? Steve what's going on?" Bucky asks confused.

"Yeah, that's what i sort of need help with. Nat and I sort of opened an orphanage and took in a one month old baby and i'm trying to feed her but I can't figure out how much formula she needs. You've done this, help me." Steve explains. 

"Okay, okay. she's only a month old? She's probably going to need about 4 oz. Do you need some help up there? Sam, Jason, and I have been doing what we can down here in D.C. but it'd be nice to see you guys again, plus it sounds like you need help." 

"Okay thanks Buck, I don't have much time to catch up right now but help would be great just give me a call when you want to come up and i'll tell you where the place is." Steve rushes his goodbye with the phone between his shoulder and his ear, pouring water and formula powder in the bottle.

"Okay talk to you then. Sam says hi. Bye." The line goes dead and Steve puts the phone down and shakes the bottle full of formula. 

"Here see if she'll take this." He hands me the bottle and i bring it to Sarah's mouth. She attaches to the nipple of the bottle but immediately unlatches and shakes her head. I try a few more times with no results.

"What is going on? You're hungry, this is food, so eat!" I say frustrated to her. 

"Natasha she's probably never drunk out of a bottle before. She's used to boobs." He says and looks at me. 

"If that's really what it takes to get you to eat, fine i'll do it." I say defeated. We take Sarah back up stairs into the office and Steve shows me this device that's supposed to help me breast feed.

"So it looks like you just put the formula in this bag and hang it around your neck and it goes through this tiny tube that you tape next to your nipple and she'll never know the difference." He pours the formula in the bag and hands it to me.

"So uh i guess i'll just leave you to it." He says awkwardly.

"No Steve, I need help attaching this thing. Can you hold Sarah?" I ask. He takes Sarah but turns around and I slip down the zipper of my catsuit and pull it to the side so that my whole breast is exposed. I put the bag around my neck and tape the tube to my breast. This better work. 

"Okay, turn around and hand me Sarah." He turns around and blushes at my exposed breast. I hold Sarah close to my chest and show her to my nipple. She latches on immediately and begins to suckle. I can see the formula milk start to flow through the tube as she feeds. It's an odd feeling but also sweet. Steve smiles and sits down next to me. He puts his finger in Sarah's small hand and she grasps onto it tightly, not letting go. This seems to make Steve very happy, his eyes shine with a brightness i've never seen before. Happiness is a good look on him. I watch him watching her and I lean in to give him a sweet kiss on the lips and pull away smiling. Sharing a gentle kiss with Steve as I breast feed Sarah feels oddly normal. It feels as if we've created our own little family. I never thought I would want this but here it is and I don't think I ever want to let it go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N if you're confused about what this device is that she's using to "Brest feed" I'll insert a link. Don't look if you're uncomfortable with seeing a breastfeeding baby and well... a breast.
> 
> https://www.ebay.com/p/MEDELA-SUPPLEMENTAL-NURSING-SYSTEM-SNS-BREAST-MILK-FEEDING-00901S-Sterile/710166703


	5. (5) First fight

Steve pov. 

After Sarah finished eating we went out to tell the kids we were making dinner. Down in the kitchen we gathered some canned goods. The older kids got mostly canned green beans, tuna, and some pickled artichokes. For the little ones there was canned fruit and chicken broth. Natasha held Sarah as I heated up the food on the commercial stove that obviously hadn’t been used in a while. We grabbed a bunch of forks and ate some of the vegetables I had warmed up first.

“There’s no way we’ll be able to carry everything up there. Can you go upstairs and tell them to line up outside the kitchen? I’ll take Sarah.” I ask Natasha and bend down to take Sarah from her arms and give them both a peck on the forehead. Natasha smiles and nods before she heads out the door to tell the others that dinner is ready. I swear she put a little extra sway in her hips on the way out just to get a rouse out of me because my eyes were glued to her the whole way out.

“Stop sexing me with your eyes Rogers! I can feel it from half way across the room.” She shouted and disappeared behind the door of the kitchen.

“Oof.” I let out a sexually frustrated sigh. I looked down at Sarah who was smiling. “Oh, so you think that’s funny huh?” I said laughing. She giggled at me and I tickled her belly so she giggled even more which in turn made me laugh. We were a laughing mess until Natasha came in and scared the living daylights out of me by sneaking up on me and tasering my sides. I jumped slightly since I was still holding Sarah. Natasha started laughing which made Sarah start laughing, which did NOT make me laugh. Of COURSE the two women in my life were teaming up against me. I was not amused. I scowled at Natasha.

“Oh come on Rogers. You’re too easy to scare, it was impossible not to resist the urge to sneak up on you. It’s hilarious, see? Even Sarah agrees.” Natasha said and took the smiling baby girl into her arms. 

“Haha. Very funny.” I pout and and give her an unhappy face. She laughs even more at my misery. “Hey! You’re not supposed to laugh at my misery!!” I disclose grumpily. 

“I can’t help it, your pouting face is so cute it’s impossible not to laugh at.” She says with a cheeky grin. 

“I’m so happy you think my pain is cute.” I reply back, rolling my eyes. 

“Alright, alright, Mr. grumpy pants. The rest of the children will be down here any minute. Get ready to serve them.” Natasha reminds me as we hear the patter of feet coming down the hall. 

“Line up outside this door here, Steve will hand you your bowl of food and you or a big kid will carry the bowl back up the steps to your cubicle.” Natasha instructed them with Sarah on her hip as I spooned vegetables into some bowls, chicken broth into some bowls, and fruit into others. After I finished I handed each kid a bowl of food to take back to their cubicles. The big kids seemed grateful for any food at all, however the younger ones seemed unimpressed by the bowl of pickled peaches and green beans. 

After the kids finished eating we settled them into their cubicles to sleep. We played one blanket on the floor and gave each kid one blanket to sleep with. Extra blankets were laid out in an empty cubicle incase they got cold.

Natasha and I went back to our room, Sarah in tow ready to pass out. 

“Sooo what do we do now?” I asked Natasha.

“Why are you asking me? I only act like I know everything, Rogers.” She replied.

“Well I guess we just wait for her to fall asleep?” I guessed. 

“Did you change her diaper?” 

“No, I thought you would do it.” I said with a hopeful/questioning tone.

“Steve. I can’t do everything. Just because I agreed to taking in Sarah doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around and play mommy. I like Sarah,i like taking care of her but I need you to share some of the responsibility.” Natasha nags at me.

“Well I don’t know what I’m doing! And well… you’re a woman. I figured it just came naturally to you.” I tried to explain.

“You WHAT?” She yells at me. “You think that just because I’m a woman I know how to take care of a baby? Well I don’t. And because you think that, YOU can be the one to take care of her every time she cries tonight.” 

“But what if she’s hungry? Does it look like I have boobs?” I ask sarcastically. 

“I’ll feed her but that’s it. You can do the rest. And don’t even THINK about touching me. I’m going to sleep on this side of the room. You can sleep over there and we can set up a pile of blankets for Sarah to sleep on in the middle.” She explains sounding a little more than pissed off. “Now. I’m tired and i'm going to sleep. Wake me up if she needs to feed but otherwise stay away from me.” She lays down underneath a pile of blankets and faces the wall.

I sigh and look at Sarah. “What do you need now?” I ask her not expecting a response. I take a guess and undo her diaper which was full and heavy. I wipe her bottom down and grimace at the odor of baby feces. I struggle at putting a new diaper on, not sure which way it’s supposed to go and how I’m supposed to get it on. I try lifting her whole body up and spreading the diaper out and then laying her back on it before closing the diaper. 

“Alright so you ate, and now you’re freshly changed. That should be enough right?” I ask Sarah who just looks at me. I lay a bunch of blankets down on the floor so that she could sleep comfortably. 

“I’m just going to lay you down and you’re going to go to sleep and not wake up for a while, okay?” I say to Sarah as more of a hope than anything. I lay her down on the blankets and step away toward my own sleeping area but she cries out as soon as she sees me leave. 

“Oh no no! Ssshhh you’re okay, it’s okay, don’t cry! Please don’t cry!” I go up to her and she stops crying. I try to find a pacifier so she won’t cry when I leave but I can’t find one anywhere. I have no idea how on earth I’m going to get this kid to sleep.

“Here let’s try this.” Pick her up and sway her around back and forth. She seems to relax at this because after a few minutes her eyelids started to droop. Once she was asleep I kept swinging her but looked for a binky so she wouldn’t stir when I put her down. I found one and stuck it in her mouth. She slept and suckled on her binky while I moved the pile of blankets that was her make shift bed and slid it closer to me so she wouldn’t get upset. 

I laid her down on the bed and she stirred slightly so I froze but she didn’t wake up. I slid in to my own makeshift bed and closed my eyes hoping to get a decent amount of sleep in before Sarah wakes up again. 

3 hours later I wake up to a pillow being thrown in my face. “Steve! She’s been crying for 5 minutes! Take care of her!” Natasha yells at me.

“Alright, alright. I think she’s hungry though. Would you stay here while I go make the formula?” I ask sleepily. 

“Fine.” She says and picks up Sarah and tries to soothe her until I get back. 

I take a can of formula and quietly head down to the kitchen. I heat up the water with the formula and mix it together before putting it in the bag with the tube that Natasha uses to breast feed. I walk back upstairs into the room and grab a still crying Sarah while Natasha gets ready to feed. I hand Sarah back to her and she feeds Sarah in silence and doesn’t say a word to me. 

When Sarah finishes eating I bring her back to lay next to me and we drift back off to sleep. I dream of Sarah and Natasha. I feel bad for getting Natasha mad at me. I just didn’t know what I was doing, but I will make it up to her first thing tomorrow morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi there! not a chapter just a link to a romanogers/stevenat edit I made. watch this and you'll probably cry. Maybe it'll make you want to read my fic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvrSnqdPMko&feature=youtu.be


	7. I’m Not Good Enough

Natasha pov.

I know what I said about all those sappy things about Steve and Sarah and being a family but I honestly think it was just in the moment and my cursed maternal instincts and hormones kicking in. Don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah. She needs someone to take care of her and that’s why I wanted to start an orphanage in the first place. To take care of kids like her. But Steve just expects me to do all the work. I may be helping take care of Sarah because she needs someone to, but I’m not her mommy. I’m not just going to sit around changing dirty diapers and having a baby stuck to my side. There are other kids here, I have an orphanage to run. Steve is just as much responsible for taking care of Sarah as I am. This is a partnership that requires both parties to do their jobs. I’m going to make sure of that. No more horsing around, we do our jobs and that’s that. I have my time with Sarah and he has his. I’m going to make this relationship strictly professional. As professional as raising a baby together can be. 

I get up in the morning and stretch, looking over to Steve and Sarah. Steve is still fast asleep with his arm around Sarah who is wide awake, cooing and playing with Steves fingers. I smiled and felt my heart swell a little. I remind myself to be professional, although it’s harder than I had imagined when they look like that. Sarah looked at me and her face lit up and she let out a little squeal. I went to pick her up and Steve stirred. I prayed that he wouldn’t wake up and I wouldn’t have to deal with him. Sarah leaned her head down on my chest and yawned. 

“You don’t think I’m wrong for being mad at Steve do you?” Sarah just let out what could only be described as a grunt.  
fxc,,,m   
“Yeah I know, I know, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he didn’t mean it like that, blah blah blah. Well my point still stands. He can’t expect me to do everything. He needs to take more responsibility. Plus, I don’t want him getting the wrong idea about us. I may have gone soft for a while there, but Steve is obviously not ready to be in a relationship yet. Once he learns some responsibility, then we’ll talk. For now it’s strictly business.” Sarah gurgles and drools.

“Well I’m glad my 2 month old agrees with me. Now, let’s eat before he wakes up and we have to interact.” I started keeping water bottles in our room to mix with the formula and just giving her room temperature formula. I put some formula powder in a half full water bottle and shake it before pouring it in the bag that dispenses the formula. After getting situated with Sarah on one breast, I check outside to see if I can determine what time it is. The sun is still only half way up so it’s probably around 6:00 in the morning. 

With Sarah still attached to one breast, I walk out into the main room and check on the rest of the kids. Most of them were still sleeping but a few of them were just sitting up doing nothing. I go up to one of the girls that was awake, Anna, and ask her “What do you say you go with Steve to the store today and pick out some toys and things to do. The younger ones especially, just look bored. I think they need something to occupy themselves with. Steve is still asleep but as soon as he wakes up and everyone eats breakfast you can go.” Anna nods and smiles. She doesn’t seem to be much of a talker, or perhaps it’s just too early. 

I go downstairs to the kitchen to see what we have along the lines of breakfast. Just add water pancake mix. Perfect considering we don’t have access to milk or eggs. I can’t really prepare the pancakes right now while still holding Sarah so I go back upstairs to leave Sarah with Steve, awake or not, which of course he is not. 

“Wake up.” I say and nudge Steve with my foot. He groans and turns around. “I’m serious wake up, I need you to stay with Sarah.” 

“Why can’t you do it. I’m sleeping.” He mumbles sleepily. This man is really testing my patience. If he asks me to do something instead of him one more time I’m going to lose it. 

“Because I’m going to make breakfast. And after breakfast I need you to go with Anna down to the store to pick up some stuff.” Steve groans but sits up and rubs his eyes awake. I detach Sarah from chest and hand her to Steve without a fuss.

“Any chance you want to take a nap kid?” He asks Sarah hopefully. Sarah smiles and gurgles happily attacking Steve’s face with her hands. “Guess not.” He groans. I laugh at his misery and walk away back down to the kitchen to make breakfast.

I get out a pan and put it on the stove, greasing it with butter before I make the pancake mix. I dump a bunch of mix in the bowl with some water and mix it around. I add more water to the mix to thin it out so there’s enough for everyone. I go into autopilot mode thinking about our next steps as partners and… care takers? Is that what we are? I mean I wouldn’t go so far as to say co-parents, we’re co-care takers. Just two friends raising a baby together.

I finish the pancakes and put them on individual plates for everyone and went back upstairs to tell them breakfast is ready. After handing everyone a small stack of pancakes, I take a plate for myself and Steve and head up to the office where he had presumably fallen back asleep despite having Sarah.

“You brought me pancakes, that must mean you’re not mad at me anymore.” Steve says when I open the door to find him sitting with Sarah in his lap.

“You wish Rogers, I’m just bringing you food because I need you and I couldn’t have you dying of starvation.” I reply snarkily. 

“Wow thanks.” Steve rolls his eyes. “Now seriously, what do I have to do to get you to forgive me.” Steve looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

“It’s not as simple as what you have to do Steve. And you know puppy dog eyes don’t work on me. I was a Russian spy, I don’t cave at the sight of a sad face. You have to take initiative, show me you’re taking this whole situation seriously.” I tell him sternly.

“Our ‘situation’ Natasha? What exactly is our situation? Partners who flirt and kiss and raise a baby but definitely not together and definitely not parents.” He asks sarcastically. 

“I don’t know Steve! You know I’m not the mommy type! I don’t know how to be a mom! I didn’t have one! I was a deadly assassin!” I yelled at him. 

“We can figure it out! I’m sure it’s not easy, and I’m sure it’s going to be one hell of a rollercoaster but Sarah needs a family. Not just two random people that give her the bare minimum. We already committed to taking her. I think her mom would be so much more at peace if she knew that we were taking care of Sarah like she was our own child.”

“I just don’t know, Steve. I don’t want to mess this kid up. I don’t want her to grow up like I did. I’m damaged, the red room damaged me and I know there’s no red room anymore but I don’t want the ideas that were ingrained in my head back then to influence Sarah somehow.” I admitted, slightly ashamed.

“Is that what this is about? Natasha, you’re not damaged. They hurt you but you’re stronger than that, they don’t have any influence over you anymore. You’re kind, intuitive, smart, funny, and all those things are great qualities to raise a kid. Sarah doesn’t need you to be perfect, she just needs you to be there.” Steve said and grabbed my hands, intertwining them with his.   
“Okay, you’re right. But i’m still not completely sure what i’m doing.”

“And you think I do?? I’m absolutely terrified! I just try to seem cool. If anything I think you’re doing a better job than I am. Why do you think I always ask you todo things? Because you just do them better.” Steve laughs. 

“Why didn’t you say something?! I thought you were just lazy.” I roll my eyes at Steve.

“Me? Lazy? Never.” He smiles goofily at me. 

“Oh okay sure you keep thinking that.”

“Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” Steve pouts out his bottom lip at me. 

“I guess not.” Steve laughs triumphantly and picks me up and spins me around before setting me down and giving me a peck on the cheek.

“So we’re doing this? Officially? Becoming parents?” He asks.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” I say with disbelief. Who would have thought I would be raising a baby with Captain America.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t forget to comment and leave kudos 😊 suggestions always welcome


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